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&; they say that somethings
can never be understood and so
it's what we have that the world
can never understand
theabouts:
aloysius ang
101487
Manchester United Fan
[♥] girlfriend!
. airforce.football.softball .
. metallik.champagne.dota .
. linkinpark.relientk .
. oldtrafford.yankeestadium .
. mlukasrossi.shayneward .
midwest skies.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
dear diary,
i've been feeling so insecure since lyn darling asked me if it was okay with me to have dinner with james on his birthday. james is her ex who kinda been wanting to get back together with her. well, i didn't know what to do. i was kinda unhappy and moody after hearing that, but i told her yeah it was okay, albeit reluctantly. you know, the 'yes' answer that's actually more of 'no'? nevermind.
i think she got a little upset. she asked me why i always make it sound like she's trying to hurt me on purpose, and honestly, i didn't know what to do. say yes and let it eat at me, or say no and be a selfish jackass. do you have an answer for me?
she asked me last night when i was in camp, close to 11. after a few texts i told her i had to go sleep, had rehearsal tmr morning. truth is, i couldn't get to sleep till very late in the morning. i was worried, hurt, and kinda lost. i don't know why exactly. just very emotional.
it continued till tmr when we weren't exactly very happy with each of our reactions. and i felt so sad throughout the day. i was so bloody distracted during rehearsal. i got fucked up pretty bad by the trainers on a few occasions. i actually forgot my own spot and went following the guy in front of me. hehh. i think boonrui could tell i wasn't exactly myself.
everything's okay now. it always is, and that's why i so appreciate this relationship. i know i won't do anything that would jeopardize our relationship and lyn won't either. but i don't wanna take this special thing between us for granted. i just gotta talk this out with someone. something. no one's gonna read this anyway, it's on the brink of death.
you know, when i walked into lyn's house today, and saw her the first time today... i was so fucking happy. shrugs. it was just so good to see her.
she's not meeting james anymore, and i know she's probably not very happy, not with not being able to see james, but at my reaction. i really don't know if i did the right thing. is there even a 'right' thing to do?
i need a teacher for these kinda things. someone who will give me answers to quandries Life throws my way. rahhhh!
i love this girl. oh so lovely. it's past her appearance, it's no longer that. it's her self i'm in love with. i don't know if she knows this, but i will do anything to make her happy.
8:11 PM